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  • Jess Baker

The not so talked about weirdness of pregnancy

I’ll start off by saying that below is a list of things that women may experience whilst pregnant. You may experience none, 3 or all of them. This is not an exhaustive list, just one that has been put together from research eg: Talking to friends and family as well as my own experience with 2 pregnancies. No expert here.



Second thing is; if things don’t feel quite right, contact your Midwife or GP. Ask them – not Dr google. This list is in no way meant to replace their professional advice; just inform.


Thirdly (and most importantly), although some of the things are gross, unexpected and straight WTF, many women near to my heart and far would have all these things 100000x over but they can’t for whatever reason. We acknowledge you, we love you and we support you.





  • -Stretch marks. Purple and angry or silvery Charlie sheeny white. All the oil in the world may not help with their appearance. Genetics and skin elasticity are factors if you get them. Instead of spending $5956 on getting rid of or preventing them, maybe just be with them, beautiful Mama.


  • -Itchy skin. Crawling itchy skin.

*NOTE: If it becomes severe, seek out medical advice ASAP.


  • -Cravings. Whether it be freshly cut fruit, skins removed, cut into little soliders or KFC double downs, go with it (unless is harmful, like swallowing pins or sniffing glue). Often its our bodies lacking in certain minerals and nutrients. My nutrient must be FAT and SUGAR cause that’s all I want to have this time around.


  • -Puffiness of hands and feet. Good bye shapely ankles, hello TANKLES.

*NOTE: Swelling of the body (Edema) is waaaaay more serious than just a bit of puff. If it’s accompanied by pain, headache, blurry vision and just feeling uneasy, contact your health professional immediately.


  • -Leaky nipples. Soaked through a flimsy bra yesterday onto my t-shirt. Classy. Just preparing me for postpartum leaks. But why so soon???


  • -Morning sickness. It is a feeling like hungover 24/7 without the fun. And what a cruel word, morning sickness is as it doesn’t just last for the morning but can go on for the whole day and often, the whole 9 months of pregnancy. In some cases it is so serious, no food or water can be kept down and can lead to hospitalization (Hyperemesis Gravidarum).


  • -Farts that stink, are huge and rumbling. Maybe that is what caused Kaikoura earthquakes; pregnant women all around NZ letting rip.


  • -Diarrhea. Get the poo runs more often. Or go the opposite way. Backed up for days.


  • -Hemorrhiods. Kinda pop out if you've been backed up for days or straining to poo. I named mine Herman and Henrietta. Click Here for some tips on supporting pooing.


  • -Flood like vaginal discharge. Seriously, invest in shares of carefree. These shares will come in handy postpartum too – 6 weeks of bleeding (Another post).

*NOTE: Vaginal discharge that is super watery, green/brown/red or smelly, contact your health professional immediately.


  • -Spider veins on legs/body. Increased pressure on capillaries due to increase in blood volume causes those little capillaries to work over time and sometimes – pop! Not sure there is anything out there to help with this? My legs and waist look like they’ve been in the ring with Joseph Parker.


  • -Varicose Veins. Similar to above, just a little larger and thicker. Pop those legs up when you get the chance.


  • -Insomnia. Wakeful nights as the mind wanders about this that and the other thing. It is f****ing crap. I had it bad with Lily, 3 hours sleep a night max. This time it’s there but not as bad. No doubt putting this out there now has jinxed that. And nothing, NOTHING I could do would alleviate it.


  • -Sciatic nerve pain. Something is a pinching, a stabbing and radiates down your leg, which makes your leg collapse.


  • -Sacroiliac joint pain. Similar to above but more constant. Literally, a pain in your butt. Walking, movements that allow your legs to part too much and standing too long will aggravate the pain. So no sex (jokes) and no moving or standing. Basically lie down and don’t move for 9 months....


  • -Symphysis pubis dysfunction. Your ligaments are greeted by the hormone relaxin, which causes them to soften and relax. But ALL ligaments will loosen and relax, particularly the ones in your pelvic region, causing great pelvic bone pain from the shifting pelvic position.


  • -Ligament softening/pain. Linked to above. That dull achey pain down in your nether regions? Yup. Be wary; if you like a bit of exercise, you are more prone to ligament injuries whilst prego.

*NOTE: If you feel uneasy about any pain down south, contact your health professional ASAP.


  • -Peeing frequently. A ‘lil human is pushing on your bladder! Our pelvic floor muscle is working super hard to support our pelvis. If it is consistent leaking with movements, you can see a pelvic floor physiotherapist, even in pregnancy.


  • Vagina lips can hang/extend more than previous. WTF. All that gravitational pressure from baby! I can see why women get designer vagina surgery…


  • SO fucking emotional. Bloody hormones. Apparently you can cry because you wanted a cup of tea so hubby gets you one but he can’t read your mind and then he gets you the wrong type and it is all over.


….list could go on and on. Know your body, know what feel right and know you aren’t alone in the wonder that is pregnancy.


What did you experience in pregnancy that you didn't know could happen?

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